ESSAYS | MEMOIR

29 06, 2018

JACOB OET | NONFICTION

2018-07-02T23:47:03+00:00

I just re-remembered: Mama told me and Mark not to say “cancer” in this house, everyone was keeping it secret from Baba Galya that she was going to die. Deda Vitya says, “Lina told me, after Galya died, that Galya told her she went to the doctor on her own and asked him how much time she had. Galya put cards under her clothes, and later I found them: ‘These are for Lina, these are for…’ So Galya knew, and kept it a secret from all of us…”

JACOB OET | NONFICTION2018-07-02T23:47:03+00:00
29 06, 2018

EMMA WANG | NONFICTION

2018-06-30T14:25:37+00:00

Over the course of my eighth-grade year, my exceptional hearing paid off, earning me a couple of eavesdropping sessions between mom and dad. They argued with low voices in the morning, careful not to wake me.

EMMA WANG | NONFICTION2018-06-30T14:25:37+00:00
30 05, 2018

MICHELLE LYN KING | NONFICTION

2018-06-01T15:36:31+00:00

"Well, that shut me right up. He had told me before that I sounded crazy, that I was acting crazy. This time was different. I was crazy, plain and simple. I excused myself to use the bathroom and turned on both the sink faucet and the shower head. I was not going to let him hear me cry."

MICHELLE LYN KING | NONFICTION2018-06-01T15:36:31+00:00
30 05, 2018

IRA SUKRUNGRUANG | NONFICTION

2018-06-01T15:08:23+00:00

When I was boy, you were a planet. Then you weren’t. You disappeared from the solar system, relegated to “other,” to “dwarf.” But I remember you, distant one. You are part of a family of the forsaken. In the end, you revolved around the sun like the rest of us.

IRA SUKRUNGRUANG | NONFICTION2018-06-01T15:08:23+00:00
27 04, 2018

MAYA MCCOY | NON FICTION

2018-04-27T18:25:10+00:00

As a child in Ohio, I only heard so much about this war. I knew that there had been suffering. I knew that Ammah was affected by it—seeing her home after almost twenty years, her birthplace, broken apart in many ways. I understood that war meant irreversible change.

MAYA MCCOY | NON FICTION2018-04-27T18:25:10+00:00
27 04, 2018

LIZ HOWARD | NON FICTION

2018-04-29T11:12:18+00:00

When your dentist pulls the wrong tooth, you will hold your own body at a distance. When your dentist lies about it, you will question what you know to be true—you will question your own sanity. When your dentist pulls the wrong tooth, you will sob for weeks about the pattern in your life of men taking something from you and insisting that they didn’t.

LIZ HOWARD | NON FICTION2018-04-29T11:12:18+00:00
31 03, 2018

Ashely Adams | Non Fiction

2018-04-23T11:15:25+00:00

Did you know you can hear it? It’s the simplest thing. Adjust an old radio or analog TV; listen for the static between channels. There, nestled in the white noise between the country music station and talk radio, are the echoes of creation.

Ashely Adams | Non Fiction2018-04-23T11:15:25+00:00
31 03, 2018

Audrey Deng | Non Fiction

2018-04-23T11:15:25+00:00

“Les escargots, s’il vous plait,” I said confidently to the waiter. “Such a tourist,” said my dinner companion once the waiter left with our orders. “Better tourist than exile,” I replied. “Better exile than stupid,” he said.  You’re paying,” I said. (We ended up splitting the bill.)

Audrey Deng | Non Fiction2018-04-23T11:15:25+00:00
27 02, 2018

Suiyi Tang | Essay

2018-03-01T12:33:55+00:00

i am the face of asian american racial justice, a mockery composed of: displacement and internal insistence on hegemonic modes of dominance, negation, and death familiar to the geopolitical histories of asia proper.

Suiyi Tang | Essay2018-03-01T12:33:55+00:00
27 02, 2018

Cornelia Barber | Essay

2018-02-28T17:38:42+00:00

The news is full of apocalypse. The girls are full to the brim with confidence, lightening, fear. Facebook sends me into spirals of anger and anxiety.

Cornelia Barber | Essay2018-02-28T17:38:42+00:00
18 01, 2018

Maia Morgan | A Dozen Tiny Weapons

2018-03-25T14:09:39+00:00

I remember the dining room table, its vast gleam, the ring of faces. The kids have been excused. They’re watching illicit TV in the den or, if it’s summer, catching fireflies or playing flashlight tag [...]

Maia Morgan | A Dozen Tiny Weapons2018-03-25T14:09:39+00:00
18 01, 2018

Sarah Cook | Non Fiction

2018-01-18T15:29:00+00:00

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN: SILENCE, OR MISUNDERSTANDING 1. As a young girl, I did really well in school. But at every parent-teacher conference, the same thing was always said, every year, from every [...]

Sarah Cook | Non Fiction2018-01-18T15:29:00+00:00
18 01, 2018

Sarah Sgro | Night Soil

2018-01-18T01:16:47+00:00

Shit is only loss so far as it concerns the individual (for it feeds the soil, for it builds the earth). Even then I have transformed. Even then I am dynamic and in constant flight. [...]

Sarah Sgro | Night Soil2018-01-18T01:16:47+00:00
17 01, 2018

Ruth Gila Berger | A Flutter of Crows Will Do

2018-01-22T12:08:22+00:00

It is February in Minneapolis, a month of frozen mud and sodden wings, except now oddly warm enough, it rains an iron rain. My wife, Christi drives. Her tires sluice. Exhausted windshield wipers perform accidental beauty; the patterns they leave fracture our light.

Ruth Gila Berger | A Flutter of Crows Will Do2018-01-22T12:08:22+00:00
28 12, 2017

Martina Carla Louis | How I Became an Amerikèn

2018-02-03T03:05:18+00:00

“Your presence is requested at an engagement party honoring …” * In Kreyol, dejwe explains the process of wasting your potential, of becoming ruined, of becoming a lost cause. Dejwe is the process of becoming [...]

Martina Carla Louis | How I Became an Amerikèn2018-02-03T03:05:18+00:00
29 11, 2017

Alex DiFrancesco | Home in Three Meals

2017-11-29T23:06:53+00:00

It’s a delicate process, but easy once you get the hang of it. If it’s done wrong, things curdle. If you do it just right, simultaneously whisking and adding warm to cold, it comes out smooth and resilient to hot temperatures.

Alex DiFrancesco | Home in Three Meals2017-11-29T23:06:53+00:00
29 11, 2017

Joseph Parker Okay | every dog i pet in 2016

2017-11-30T13:11:14+00:00

i got the next round and after that she invited me back to her place. when we got there we were met at the door by 2 barking doggos. one was hers, a dark brown/reddish wiener dog mix who really doesn’t like guys.

Joseph Parker Okay | every dog i pet in 20162017-11-30T13:11:14+00:00
29 11, 2017

Whit Arnold | Tadpole

2017-11-30T11:42:00+00:00

On TV, we watched a Showtime series called Shameless. I’m easily bored by TV, so instead I looked around his apartment. On a shelf sat a colorful, glass hookah. Seeing it, I asked, “You smoke?”

Whit Arnold | Tadpole2017-11-30T11:42:00+00:00
29 11, 2017

Lucie Bonvalet | Florence: a portrait

2017-11-30T15:25:40+00:00

But if I look at the etymology, I find the Greek, nemein, "give what is due" and that nemesis literally means "retribution". So why has it become intertwined in my memory with a forest of black mirrors?

Lucie Bonvalet | Florence: a portrait2017-11-30T15:25:40+00:00
29 10, 2017

Chloé Cela | This Skank Woman

2017-10-29T21:42:26+00:00

This Skank Woman has no choice but to surrender to the hospital ambiance; the noise and patronizing nurses with good intentions, most of the time. The TV is showing the treatment of rhinos in Africa.

Chloé Cela | This Skank Woman2017-10-29T21:42:26+00:00
19 09, 2017

Gina Keicher | The Four-Day Win

2017-09-19T21:01:35+00:00

The Four-Day Win Family legend has it that one day I walked into the kitchen from the two-car garage, my hands cupped piously as if carrying a communion wafer. I approached my mother [...]

Gina Keicher | The Four-Day Win2017-09-19T21:01:35+00:00
19 09, 2017

Lauren Turner | QUIT DYING TO DIE

2017-09-19T17:41:32+00:00

Flirting with suicide, I spent three apathetic years with Bulimia Nervosa, before I decided I wanted to live. A month into recovery, doctors discovered tumors on most of my major organs. My body is now [...]

Lauren Turner | QUIT DYING TO DIE2017-09-19T17:41:32+00:00
17 09, 2017

Naima Coster | Reorientation

2017-09-28T09:30:19+00:00

Winner of the 2017 CA Non-Fiction Prize judged by Roxane Gay The hallways at Spence were blue and narrow. They wound one into another, and I couldn’t tell how many times I [...]

Naima Coster | Reorientation2017-09-28T09:30:19+00:00
16 09, 2017

Anna Kaye-Rogers | The Witch

2017-09-19T18:11:22+00:00

Tendrils of dark hair dangle from her bun; refusing to be ordered and catalogued.  She is wrapped in a dark sweater that has no end and drapes over itself.  If she was a color, she [...]

Anna Kaye-Rogers | The Witch2017-09-19T18:11:22+00:00
17 07, 2017

Mez Breeze | Attn: Solitude

2017-07-17T17:15:09+00:00

Mez Breeze has been working for a good long while (since the mid 1990’s) to produce a splodge-like array of award-winning digital fiction, books, VR + AR experiences, games, experimental storytelling, interactive fiction, and othergenre-defying output that often can’t quite be categorized into neat little boxes (pssst: she secretly enjoys this fact).

Mez Breeze | Attn: Solitude2017-07-17T17:15:09+00:00
17 07, 2017

Troy Onyango | The Ghost of Nina Simone; Or the Remains of an Existence Spiraling Towards the Nadir.

2017-07-17T14:49:49+00:00

The sky is the colour of a sketch artist’s thumb when the bus sneaks its way out of the bus station, headed for the port town of Kisumu – home; a place so distant it requires at least a week of mental preparation and enough love for those whose existence make up that word.

Troy Onyango | The Ghost of Nina Simone; Or the Remains of an Existence Spiraling Towards the Nadir.2017-07-17T14:49:49+00:00
17 07, 2017

Ayden LeRoux | Pillowbook

2017-07-22T23:29:10+00:00

I never slept in this bed, though at one time I longed to. Instead it was left unconsummated. The summer when I imagined sleeping here, I went to have my tarot cards read over and over and over again.

Ayden LeRoux | Pillowbook2017-07-22T23:29:10+00:00
17 07, 2017

Marta Balcewicz | Lies in the Gymnasium

2017-07-17T11:51:45+00:00

“Guadalajara!” she said to me a couple more times in that locker room, with the showers thundering in the background and naked women slapping their suits down on wet benches. “Guadalajara.”

Marta Balcewicz | Lies in the Gymnasium2017-07-17T11:51:45+00:00
17 07, 2017

Lindsey Webb | Apology

2017-07-18T22:29:49+00:00

When I’m young, it’s the season of the rabbit—cute, horrible, skinny, sprinting under the sagebrush when a truck comes up the dirt road.

Lindsey Webb | Apology2017-07-18T22:29:49+00:00
17 07, 2017

Gabby Vachon | Meth(od) Man

2017-07-17T01:09:02+00:00

He, on the other hand, actually did meth, which was less cool that I thought. He looked more like a coke guy to me, but what do I know about what a coke guy looks like? As a child I smelled pot on my street and wanted desperately to call 911, so I'm not exactly what you would call "street savvy".

Gabby Vachon | Meth(od) Man2017-07-17T01:09:02+00:00
17 07, 2017

Corinna Chong | Thieves

2017-07-17T01:07:17+00:00

“Sturdier than the old one,” my mum said, “and it’ll keep the draft out.” A new door to cover the evidence that our house was not secure, but permeable. Walls like sieves, find a hole and enter.

Corinna Chong | Thieves2017-07-17T01:07:17+00:00
17 07, 2017

Tia Lucas | Working Class Mouth

2017-07-17T01:01:22+00:00

I only remember my friends as having little teeth as so I can’t comment on their current state or the orthodontia sagas they may have endured. I should add here that I was also a thumb-sucker.

Tia Lucas | Working Class Mouth2017-07-17T01:01:22+00:00
16 07, 2017

Natasha Young | Letters from Angel

2017-07-19T16:09:02+00:00

Post-coital tristesse (PCT) or post-coital dysphoria (PCD) is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse. Its name comes from ...

Natasha Young | Letters from Angel2017-07-19T16:09:02+00:00
2 05, 2017

Omar Sakr | ghosting the ghetto

2017-05-06T16:59:06+00:00

excerpted from These Wild Horses  for Steven In their third floor brick flat, the one tucked into the asphalt folds of Warwick Farm, past El Toro motel, down where the winding road straightens out opposite [...]

Omar Sakr | ghosting the ghetto2017-05-06T16:59:06+00:00
2 05, 2017

Matthew Mastricova | Heartnote

2017-05-06T18:33:20+00:00

The sample was cheap and small and arrived five days after I ordered it. With no brand, no bottle, and no color, it looked like water. It was called Hg. I had chosen the sample [...]

Matthew Mastricova | Heartnote2017-05-06T18:33:20+00:00
2 05, 2017

Christa Parravani | Back At Home

2017-05-06T16:57:45+00:00

Operation Desert Storm played on television. The picture was faintly out of focus, a smattering of grainy night scenes and bullet riddled stucco buildings. On screen, small details were nearly impossible to see. Faces and [...]

Christa Parravani | Back At Home2017-05-06T16:57:45+00:00
6 03, 2017

Donald Quist | Excerpt from Harbors

2017-05-05T22:26:43+00:00

Excerpt from Donald Quist's essay collection Harbors from Awst Press. Available for order here. Lesson Plan Week 1 (Introductions) Course Title: ENGLISH-IV (Academic Writing for Second Language Learners) University Course Number: BG2001 Section: 434 (0:00) / (1:30) Greet [...]

Donald Quist | Excerpt from Harbors2017-05-05T22:26:43+00:00
6 03, 2017

Rem + Rom | Excerpts from A Raft Manifest

2017-05-05T22:26:51+00:00

The feral twin brothers Rem + Rom come born from the Columbia river delta, fathered by a rogue member of the «Clueless + Lark» expedition + reared by a she-wolf, before morphing into [...]

Rem + Rom | Excerpts from A Raft Manifest2017-05-05T22:26:51+00:00
25 02, 2017

Nina Yun | Han

2017-05-05T22:26:54+00:00

In the vice of winter no one wants the raw, unless it is the orange yolk from an egg, and even then we drop it into a boil of stew. The sun is bright, and [...]

Nina Yun | Han2017-05-05T22:26:54+00:00
12 02, 2017

Sarah Gerard | Excerpts from BFF

2018-02-15T18:57:18+00:00

Excerpt from Sarah Gerard's essay collection Sunshine State, out April 11, 2017 from Harper Collins. Available for pre-order now here. Lies I heard you tell yourself: Vitamins from fruits and vegetables are concentrated most densely in [...]

Sarah Gerard | Excerpts from BFF2018-02-15T18:57:18+00:00
12 02, 2017

Visage | Matt Erickson

2017-05-05T22:27:37+00:00

2 A few months ago, I read an article in the Times about a just-solved case opened in 1995, an anonymous car crash victim, the opposite of a missing person: found body, no identity. Facts [...]

Visage | Matt Erickson2017-05-05T22:27:37+00:00
19 12, 2016

Max Cohen | Letters to Taylor

2017-05-05T22:21:40+00:00

Dear Taylor, The apartment’s been shifting into a mild hell dimension for months now, so I’ve been leaving it more and more, finding new places to hide in. Except! Except maybe I should turn around [...]

Max Cohen | Letters to Taylor2017-05-05T22:21:40+00:00
5 11, 2016

Emily Siegenthaler | Ketchup

2017-05-05T22:27:25+00:00

On the phone we decide to check out the mansion of the condiments empire heiress—the intricate brickwork and the midnight guards who sleep outside for $10 an hour. I always say yes to a new [...]

Emily Siegenthaler | Ketchup2017-05-05T22:27:25+00:00
31 10, 2016

Paul Lisicky | Two Pieces

2017-05-05T22:27:28+00:00

HOLLER  Now when the screen summons up Politician X, I do a start. Not because I'm dreading your elation at his latest surge, but because you're dead, and I will never holler at another human [...]

Paul Lisicky | Two Pieces2017-05-05T22:27:28+00:00
14 09, 2016

Vi Khi Nao | Washing Dishes

2017-05-05T22:27:45+00:00

I asked my coworkers if they thought kissing was like washing the dishes. A few of us looked away, including myself, over a strewn pile of essays. The question hung in the air like a [...]

Vi Khi Nao | Washing Dishes2017-05-05T22:27:45+00:00
14 09, 2016

Vi Khi Nao | The Sleeping Pill

2017-05-05T22:25:00+00:00

After I graduated from college with dual degrees in Art and Spanish, I fell asleep. I slept without knowing that I slept and that sleeping covered an entire continent of sleep for six full years. [...]

Vi Khi Nao | The Sleeping Pill2017-05-05T22:25:00+00:00
22 07, 2016

Disquiet | Mariam Williams

2017-05-05T22:27:54+00:00

I tried to write this pretty, but five false starts in, I give up and state it plainly: I think I have something akin to survivor’s guilt. “Ridiculous,” my father says. “Guilt is for people [...]

Disquiet | Mariam Williams2017-05-05T22:27:54+00:00
11 02, 2016

Gabe Bump | Breakaway

2016-07-09T08:16:06+00:00

1. I haven’t dreamt of Abe Lincoln and Barack Obama playing one-on-one atop a gigantic bronze Marv Albert bust. That wouldn’t hurt my spirit. 2. What kind of husband will I be? 3. What kind [...]

Gabe Bump | Breakaway2016-07-09T08:16:06+00:00
17 01, 2016

Cheryl Collins Isaac | Osmosis

2017-05-05T22:32:41+00:00

Her white, spaghetti-strapped blouse is ripped in the middle, and a broken strap hangs off the shoulder of her body sprawled on the dirt ground: legs spread apart, jeans unbuckled and halfway down her thighs, [...]

Cheryl Collins Isaac | Osmosis2017-05-05T22:32:41+00:00
17 12, 2015

Ellen Korman Blum | The Train Ticket

2016-02-10T23:17:00+00:00

Of the half dozen languages my immigrant parents knew, Polish was the one used for secrets−−anything we children were not to understand. A few years after they had both passed away, I visited my family’s [...]

Ellen Korman Blum | The Train Ticket2016-02-10T23:17:00+00:00
16 12, 2015

Ron Carlson | Tayari Jones

2016-03-04T11:59:53+00:00

“TAYARI JONES ON RON CARLSON” IS FORTHCOMING IN THE ANTHOLOGY A MANNER OF BEING: WRITERS ON THEIR MENTORS (UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS PRESS) EDITED BY ANNIE LIONTAS AND JEFF PARKER Ron Carlson taught me how to [...]

Ron Carlson | Tayari Jones2016-03-04T11:59:53+00:00
4 11, 2015

Mary Gaitskill | On the Old Guy

2016-02-10T23:17:04+00:00

"Mary Gaitskill on the Old Guy” is forthcoming in the anthology A Manner of Being: Writers on Their Mentors (University of Massachusetts Press) edited by Annie Liontas and Jeff Parker The only mentor I’ve had [...]

Mary Gaitskill | On the Old Guy2016-02-10T23:17:04+00:00
1 10, 2015

Laura Warman | My Numerology

2017-05-05T22:34:01+00:00

  1 One. The number most embodied, the number most claimed. “I am number one.”- Michael Jordan, Marilyn Monroe. The first chapter of Numbers is just documentation of a census of the Israelite community. There [...]

Laura Warman | My Numerology2017-05-05T22:34:01+00:00
1 06, 2015

Gabe Bump | House Cat

2016-07-09T08:16:23+00:00

You move back home and Housecat is already there. You’re both back in the rooms you grew-up in. Figuring shit out, you both call it. Housecat’s four years and five inches ahead of you. Housecat’s [...]

Gabe Bump | House Cat2016-07-09T08:16:23+00:00
1 02, 2015

Richard Z. Santos | Hospital Food

2017-05-05T22:35:54+00:00

There’s no homegrown cuisine in Washington, DC—no pizza, no bagel, no crab, no collard greens, no BBQ that embodies the District. The best DC can manage, when pressed on the issue, is either the half-smoke [...]

Richard Z. Santos | Hospital Food2017-05-05T22:35:54+00:00
1 01, 2015

Karie Fugett | American April

2017-05-05T22:35:58+00:00

The first time I saw an amputee was in April 2006 at Bethesda Naval Hospital. I was twenty years old. The man was attractive, probably in his late teens to early twenties, with overgrown brunette [...]

Karie Fugett | American April2017-05-05T22:35:58+00:00
1 01, 2015

Resa Alboher | Gogol Was a Realist

2016-02-10T23:17:19+00:00

In the early 90’s, just a few years into our marriage, when John and I were living in theobshaga, a shitty Russian university dormitory, on the windiest part of Vasilevsky Island out there on the [...]

Resa Alboher | Gogol Was a Realist2016-02-10T23:17:19+00:00
1 01, 2015

Dean Thomas Ellis | Miradouro

2017-05-05T22:36:02+00:00

"Imagine the marriage lasting, the lilies blooming in the black vase for years..." -Kim Addonizio, Tell Me It is Saturday afternoon in Lisbon, and I've stumbled upon bliss. Or whatever passes for it on a [...]

Dean Thomas Ellis | Miradouro2017-05-05T22:36:02+00:00
1 11, 2014

Dalia Staponkutė | A Negative

2017-05-05T22:36:30+00:00

To the town where I live I’ve got many names and a tangled history, which occupies my centre as a giant Hephaestus of rough glass shards masterfully joined together. The massive sculpture-mount bears a modern [...]

Dalia Staponkutė | A Negative2017-05-05T22:36:30+00:00

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