We are all dying
for something. in.
or outside of. or
beyond. Collapse
imminent & laborious.
topple topple. fuck this
& let it burn.
there was a time i believed
i could afford to be kind
with Torn Muscled Tongue.
every Gesture i searched for:
Temporal Babble. i hate being
told my Age is the Reason
everything sounds
like White Noise &
Convenient Lies.
how to Get On, or
how to Get By, or
how to Sleep at Night?
i ask too often,
but never to Anyone
who can answer me.
i don’t want a Solution
i want People to know
Everything hurts,
but i make it
look so alluring.
Vanity isn’t suppose to be a Vice.
how many ways
can i tell on myself?
if Everyone else can be so bold
why the fuck not Me?
ain’t i a Relevant Octave?
this is Audacity.
for Me
a Confession of how all of this
converges. my Waking
Breaking-folded out
& up into this Nation.
pretend every White Theatric
in which i have played
is now my Role to usurp.
make it my own. revisit
with new Life.
i refuse to comment on Anything
that can’t kill me today.
i choose to comment
on the Ruptures that vibrate
beside me.
i wish i believed
in Freedom
as much as i believe
in Speech. i wish
there was Freedom in a Present
Politic. awaiting
the Guillotine-Shoe
to drop
i want to know something
about writing My Own History
if i could tell it
you would only know
i tried to be.
there is not an Age
we can be born in
& not be Somebody-else’s Dream,
Another’s Nightmare.
Both Sides is a Battlefield.
i lose myself at the Frontline.
tag me in the Worthy Aftermath.
Soldiers™ are Collateral.
a Disenfranchised
File & Rank. who can even
be out here? dying so ready?
the real Tragedies of War
exist in the Mouths
swallowing the Bombs
as beautiful. here i would
jest about the things
i have swallowed to remind You
Humor is the only way
You can seem to listen.
unless its my Dying.
the Audacity of a Memoir
a Pre-Emptive Biopic
of just how impossible
all this actually was.
i can’t comment on the Death
anymore. Sisters & Xisters.
& Brothers, & Siblings &
we all carry Bombs in our
Throats. Cherry & Toxic
& Bubble, clock the Pop.
Everybody wanna talk like Us
but y’all making Mumble
of the Whole Charade
& dare to charge Me for it.

jayy dodd is an blxk trans femme writer & artist. they talk shit on the internet & their words are award-nominated & generally controversial. find them at