LYING TO MYSELF

We were going to just be friends but then we slept together.
It was random, and I did nothing to provoke it.

Anyway, this whole student loan situation
seems to be blown out of proportion.

No one notices when I’m late to work.
I just forgot to eat.

I only drink once or twice a week. And when I do
I get drunk off only two glasses of wine.

I don’t need to check the box for domestic—
he didn’t mean to. He thought I was awake.

I don’t need to check the box for insomnia.
The pot isn’t a problem. I love my boyfriend.

I like dogs. I like raw tomatoes.
The wine isn’t a problem. I can have two helpings

tonight because I worked out
yesterday. I can have my cake and I don’t like her

in that way I just wish I looked like that.
If I cut the pill in half. If I wake up earlier tomorrow.

The truth is, we’re very happy.

Jessica Abughattas is an American poet of Palestinian heritage. Her work appears in Redivider, Muzzle, The Journal, and elsewhere. She received her MFA from Antioch University. She is a Kundiman fellow, an editor for Palette Poetry and Write Bloody, and a Scorpio.