Tabs open on your screen right now:
– Youtube Video “Music for Effective Studying- Easy Studying Music- Beautiful Study Music- Easy Smooth Inspirational”
– Twitter
– Google Drive Folder- “Alana Massey Promo Photos”

If you had to brag about yourself:
My favorite thing to say in a pitch meeting for a new project or venture or big story is, “Nobody ever went broke betting on Alana Massey.” Followed closely by, “I’m never going to be this cheap again,” when editors are on-the-fence about certain stories I’m writing. I feel like if you’re going to brag, you should come armed with one-liners and bravado.

Your writer crush:
I find writers sexually and romantically repulsive.

Favorite lyric:
“A week ago you said to me
“Do you believe I’ll never be too far?”
If you’re lost, just look for me
You’ll find me in the region of the summer stars

– One Direction, written by Harry Styles, a sentient Christmas carol and a god among men

“You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter,
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine” – Taylor Swift, God bless her

I can’t tell one from the other
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time before we were born
If someone asks, this is where I’ll be”
– Talking Heads, this is the best song there is.

Are you a ghost
Or the symbols of light or a fantasy host?
In your breast
I carry the form
The heart of the Earth and the weapons of warmth
– Sufjan Stevens, talkin’ bout volcanoes. OF COURSE.

Any place in the world:
The banks of the River Sava

Best breakfast:
Lobster Benedict from Sea Wolf in Bushwick

Favorite online places right now:
The ones where I buy cool outfits and shit for my house and the ones where I sell the same to afford it.

Sweetest thing:
When you’re talking about someone kindly, to send a quick text to let that person know that people were all speaking fondly of them.

Your rituals (writing or not):
I wake up and immediately drink 17 ounces of water then do at least 25 minutes of exercises using YouTube fitness videos. I don’t know why anyone goes to the gym when that goldmine exists.

Least impressive thing about you:
My true interior life.

Favorite space to write:
The desk in my guest room where there is beautiful wallpaper, lots of light, and I have a temporary reprieve from my cat’s endless need to be held.

What should we know:
That we do not come from the stars, but that we are of the stars.

Guilty literary pleasure:
I’m never embarrassed by what I read but my God, do I love to underline good sentences and break book spines to make reading easier. I relish this defilement.

Best book nobody talks about:

That ghoulish gift of a website Goodreads has taught me that all the books I’ve ever read and thought were neglected are indeed being talked about. With vigor and excitement and outrage! We too often say “nobody” when we only mean nobody from a selection of voices we’ve deemed worthy of listening to.

Character (TV, book, movie) you most identify with:
The girl squirrel in Disney’s Sword In The Stone who fall in love with Arthur when he’s turned into a squirrel and can’t take a hint that he’s not interested and is then heartbroken when he becomes a boy again.

Last time you lied:
Two hours ago.

The lie:
“I’ll work on that tonight!”

Question you secretly want to be asked:
Well, I want to say, “Hey, guess what?”

and have the other person ask, “What?”

The answer:
Then I say, “I love you.”

It is actually something I do constantly to my boyfriend but I want to expand its circle of influence, say it to friends, let your readers know that its a goddamn adorable thing to do to their significant other later tonight, etc. Be a soft spot in a world of hard edges, and whatnot.

ALANA MASSEY is a writer covering culture, technology, relationships, and identity. Her book of essays about celebrities and the myths of female inadequacy, All the Lives I Want, is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing. She lives in Brooklyn, NY with one cat and a lot of feelings.