If you had to brag about yourself:
For thirty-five years I’ve had perfect vision.

Your writer crush:
Elizabeth Hardwick in 1979, Fiona Apple

Favorite lyric:
It was the first part of my life

Second is the rest

Any place in the world:
Coffee with Jesse Ball and Dan Ivec at W.G. Sebald’s house

Best breakfast:
Coffee at 7am
Green tea at 9am
Oatmeal at 12pm

Favorite online places right now:
Stay sane and stop going online so much— that’s my advice. If you must go online, look at somanytumbleweeds.com (gardener of an imaginary garden Claire Donato’s page)

Sweetest thing:
Drops of water on a leaf

Your rituals (writing or not):
Listening to rap while on the elliptical, an afternoon nap, a walk around the reservoir.

Least impressive thing about you:
When I write, sometimes I think of revenge.

Favorite space to write:
491 9th Street APT 3F
Brooklyn NY 11215
(I no longer live there)

What should we know:
How to clean your own house

Best book nobody talks about:
The Box Man by Kobo Abe, Zama by Antonio diBenedetto

Character (TV, book, movie) you most identify with:
Larry David

Last time you lied:
A few days ago. Someone asked me my age.

The lie:
I told the person I was twenty-two, because I like the sound of the number twenty-two.

Question you secretly want to be asked:
Who are your two favorite NBA players of all time?

The answer:

Hakeem Olajuwon
Russell Westbrook

PATTY YUMI COTTRELL is the author of Sorry to Disrupt the Peace (McSweeney’s). She lives in Los Angeles.